More than 2 month...

Salam...its about more than 2 month..i cant hv enough n suitable time to update my blog...quite a long time...emmm..last month I going back to Msia...just for the emergency n not planned...the ticket for the emergency flight is quite expensive..bought 1day before I'm going back..Since, in Malaysia I had a lot thing to do + the internet at my hometown was not as fast as here..so..i'm became quite lazy to update my blog..even everyday i online to spoke with my hubby early in the morning..

emm..back to the topic...its about more than 2 month..my mom..already leave me n my family...Allah love her very much...(refer to the saddest story upon Syawal ). She leave me on 12 September 2010 which is 3rd Syawal..the time she passed away at 3.05pm...and for the time being.i'm still in my way to going back...where on that time I with my daughter were boarding to the Kuala Lumpur from the Incheon Airport...emm..I cant expressed that time...I really upset on that..my hope for the coming back is to see her n help her to recovered from her injured...but...All have been disuratkan olehNYA..I cant help her for the last time...mungkin inilah suratan nya..which is very tough for me..for all my life...even now..i still feel regret on this... And  this is the most important reason...why I dont have any strength to update my blog or to do others things...because I'm really2 do know what to do..n i need some times to recovered from this situation...but its so hard..

WAQ with her bag..prepared for check in..@Fukuoka Airport



Altaf cant controlled...@ Incheon Airport

Em..I hope it will not be happen again...but truly speaking...sblm my mon meninggal..i always dream her..almost every night...n the last 3 days before she passed away...i had a dream where she passed away before sempat saya jumpa n ckp dgn dia....n the dreamt almost the same for the 3 days before..lastly..mmg benar..itulah takdirnya...mmg sy xsmpt jumpe n ckp dgn ibu sblm dia pergi...When I reached airport..my aunt n uncle fetch me...but when I ask about my mom...she didnt told anything...but she said..

"mcm tue la"...they fetch me n terus driving to Melaka..in the car..they all never said anything when i ask about the condition now..they just..said..still the same...When I reached at my home gate...I saw ramai sgt2 org pki bj melayu n bersongkok..kat luar rumah..n rumah terang benderang...padahal on that time dh kul 12tgh mlm...n I asked again..then..I asked about my mom to my aunt..but she only said "sabar ye, angah"..i cant control my emotion on this situation...i dont have any strength at that time..n feel all my life become down..i'm lying on that car..n my daughter at that time...crying n crying...I just praise to Allah for the strength and wake up to see jenazah my mom yg telah selamat dimandi n disolatkan hanya tunggu saya blk je....Alhamdulillah..Allah give me that strength..n for the whole night before tggu esok utk dikebumikan..I with my sister n brother recite the Al-Quran..nAlhamdulillah..I have khatam the Al-Quran for my mom...At that time...my daughter was with my cousin n sister..saya xfikir pun ttg anak n ape2 yg lain..the important is what can I do for my mom..for the last time...my think is my mom...mmg xsmpt nk fikir sape2 pun even to tell my hubby yg kami dh slmt smpi pun xsmpt juga...all in uncontrolled.....i think if u r in my situation u re also do the same,right?which is i'm so surprised..n regret.. Early in the morning...a lot of my mom n father frens yg duk jauh nun kat utara n mahupun di pantai timur...dtg melawat kami..n a lot of people recite the Al-Quran for my mom..around 9am,my mom disembahyangkan sekali lagi sebelum dikebumikan..utk kali terakhir..I with my youngest sister solat jenazah utk my mom..n my praise she will be calm there..





Actually, i'm so tired on that day...after booked a ticket for going home till 3.00am...n kemas sume brg2 yg nk bw blk..n my flight was at 10.30am...but i must be at the Fukuoka Airport at 8.30am due to I hv to do a re-entry permit..n my WAQ..buat perangai dia on that day...sbb kene kejutkan awl utk mandi n siap2...n kurang tido...till after my mom dikebumikan brla rasa sgt2 penat..dan sgt2 lapar sbb xmkn hmpr satu hari...+ br terfikir yg sy ada baby yg kat dlm perut yg msh lapar..Alhamdulillah,Allah telah beri sepenuh kekuatan utk lakukan semua ini...Thank you Allah...

And for the whole 1 n half month..stayed in Malaysia..A lot things to do..I need to recover my father which is so sad, my youngest brother who along with my mom during the accident n also myself...I also have to help my father to settle all my mom work "as she as a teacher"..n also about the car, insurance,wasiat,bank n etc...that's all need a lot of document...I also try to do the best..which try to be like my mom do..as she at home...just like..tlg buat segala keje2 rumah..n try to teach my youngest brother to do keje2 rumah yg biasa...mcm msk nasi,kemas umah,sapu rumah, bsh bj..n etc...Alhamdulillah..since I'm going back to japan..he can manage to do that things...n kdg2 I have to remember his..to keep it continuously...

Altaf with her bassinet.

Eeemm...I hope I can recover all  my emotion n feeling very soon..n my promise to my  late mom...I will be a good daughter n sister, and excellent wife n mother...InsyaAllah...I will bring all ur taught for the whole my life..Luv u mom forever n ever...;)

I miss her very much....

p/s: thanks a lot to my hubby...fahami situasi ini.